Have you ever wondered what is appropriate protest attire? Admittedly, I have.

While walking to the Hill two Saturdays ago, I remember contemplating what protesters should wear. Did I need a Tea Party shirt? Something with an American flag? A tshirt with an angry message? Since I planned to go to church after the protest, I didn’t want to wear anything political. However, I didn’t want to look too DC.

Apparently, my mom must have wondered the same thing at some point because she sent me this column in the Guardian about how to dress for a protest.

First: How Not To Look Slightly Deranged. There are obvious points here, and ones that should apply to all areas of life, not just protests, so no facial jewellery, no dreadlocks, no glow in the eye of self-righteous indignation fed with the oxygen of half-formed arguments, which is only just about acceptable in stoned undergraduates and is certainly not in anyone over the age of 21.

I think every movement that has ever protested has its deranged members. On the right, these are generally people with Guy Fawkes masks or those who dress up in some type of costume. Remember these guys? That’s deranged.

Clothes that look as if they were bought in Camden market (wacky-wacky, thumbs-aloft, baggy striped trousers; anything with a pompom) are obviously verboten. Unless you are Elizabeth Hurley, you probably will not be tempted to wear heels to a protest (and what would Liz be protesting about, do we think, people? Perhaps a criminal nationwide shortage of white denim?). Plain and practical are the obvious styles to aim for, but nothing in army green because that risks you being mistaken for a rent- a-protester, army green generally being their chosen colour.

I definitely agree with plain and practical. It goes without saying to wear comfortable shoes and avoid carrying too much. I’m not a fan of army green unless you actually are in the armed forces or served in the armed forces. Then you should be honored and thanked for your service.

Similarly, no T-shirts or other paraphernalia that indicate you have frequented other protests: you think it proves your passion, others think you’re just a protest slut in it for the exercise and the day off work.

At the House Call Rally, where I did stick out because I was in work clothes, I noticed this phenomenon. I don’t know if it’s a testament to the dire need to protest or a sign at how angry Americans are when they wear t-shirts from previous Tea Parties or protests. This was a common sight at the 9/12 Rally and all the other subsequent rallies that have blurred together due to anger at Democrats. People shouldn’t have the need to own a single Tea Party shirt, yet many own multiple ones.

Do you look like a protest whore for wearing t-shirts commemorating previous protests? I disagree here. I think it shows your commitment. If you are a professional protester, chances are you fall into the “deranged” camp. Plus, the right doesn’t have professional protesters since we all have jobs.

As for signs, I am a great fan of homemade ones, simply for the show of creativity, and if anyone in the protest notices you have co-ordinated yourself with your sign, you are not in a protest, you are in Selfridges.

This is absolutely true. Grassroots experts actually advise making homemade signs. This point was illustrated last year when I attended a Saxby Chambliss rally in Atlanta because Sarah Palin was speaking (a.k.a. the day Sarah hugged me). Since we got there so early, I watched as the Saxby people set up the photo op. After the carefully selected people — who displayed a variety of races, ethnicities, ages, styles of dress and income levels — were picked and adorable children were lined up on stage, the campaign passed out a stack of  homemade intern-made signs with a variety of slogans. They only had one or two printed signs on the entire stage. (Don’t fault the Republicans here, I’ve seen Democrats do this too.)

Homemade signs have much more character. However, homemade signs can also be hard to read, silly or downright offensive. I also agree about not matching your sign or flag, which is seen quite often with the popular Gasden flag. If in doubt, here’s a guide (PDF) to making signs that’s helpful.