While reading Letters to an American Lady by C.S. Lewis, which is part of the April reading list, I came across this passage. Like much of Lewis’ work, it hits you in the gut with the truth of walking with Christ.

From the letter dated 6/12/55:

For it is a dreadful truth that the state of (as you say) “having to depend solely on God” is what we all dread most. And of course that just shows how very much, how almost exclusively, we have been depending on things. But trouble goes so far back in our lives and is now so deeply ingrained, we’ll will not turn to Him as long as He leaves us anything else to turn to. I suppose all one can say is that it was bound to come. In the hour of death and the day of judgment, what else shall we have? Perhaps when those moments come, they will feel happiest who have been forced (however unwittingly) to begin practicing it here on earth. It is good of Him to force us; but dear me, how hard to feel that it is good at the time.

This isn’t in relation to anything nor is there a political or cultural angle. This passage just struck me as the honest truth about how difficult it is to be a Christian. It’s not always praise music and warm fuzzies, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The darkest moments, the ones when we want to do anything but trust in God, are the ones that teach us the most.